Woke Australians triggered by word ‘patriots,’ cite ladder accidents when confronted with terrorism

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It’s already tomorrow morning in Australia — that’s just how woke the people are there.

Still, it might be a bit jarring for Americans used to watching a screen full of liberal panelists on CNN pretend to go at each other to realize that things aren’t much different in Australia.

President Donald Trump took a beating from Bruce Springsteen and others for apparently botching a call with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. How could Trump screw up something that simple?

It turns out Turnbull wasn’t pleased to learn that Trump was insisting on renegotiating former President Barack Obama’s “dumb” deal, wherein the United States was expected to take in refugees being held by Australia in offshore detention camps — many from Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Iran, and Iraq — before Australia would take in anyone from Central America.

Turnbull has his own problems: it seems he’d like people coming to make Australia their new home to be, you know, loyal to Australia.

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Tell us about it! We confess, we don’t know these pundits by name, but that doesn’t mean we’re not familiar with them.

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Xenophobia is everywhere! What are people afraid of? Immigrants? It’s ladders that should have to undergo “extreme vetting” before they’re allowed onto the mainland.

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